tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52980822011-04-21T19:49:26.416-07:00Hans, Me, and BabyMy Life as an Asperger Mama - the good, the bad, and the ridiculous.shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comBlogger241100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-1123776717397674692005-08-11T09:09:00.000-07:002005-08-11T09:11:57.403-07:00As for meds....I've found Lexapro really helpful in toning down the onslaught of stimuli - makes it wasier to remember to eat, makes it easier to drive around traffic, etc. That said, my latest doctor asked me to try to go off of it for breast-feeding. I weaned off of it by July 4th, even though G didn't arrive till two weeks later! So far so good.shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-1123176570142179222005-08-04T10:24:00.001-07:002005-08-04T10:29:30.143-07:00A year later....and I'm back with a baby. Planning on being a mostly SAHM, working part time two days a week as a substitute teacher in the high school down the road. We shall see. Since I last posted, we also bought a farm so the goal is to get that to make the income we need to make ends meet. Current struggle: eating enough, espeically with nursing! No routine or outside cues makes it reallyshannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-1123176517766377822005-08-04T10:24:00.000-07:002005-08-04T10:28:37.766-07:00A year later....and I'm back with a baby. Planning on being a mostly SAHM, working part time two days a week as a substituite teacher in te high school down the road. We shall see. Since I last posted, we also bought a farm so the goal is to get that to make the income we need to make ends meet. Current struggle: eating enough, espeically with nursing! No routine or outside cues makes it reallyshannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-1088988181810407562004-07-04T17:41:00.000-07:002004-07-04T17:43:01.810-07:00Bah. Wet to Deans' s and immediatly had a flashback panic attack - he was short with me when I went in to tell E I was in pretty rough shape last week, and just seeing him made me just aobut collapse. Got together enough to throw this shin-dig though - that's good. Gonna try to go to bed early tonight. shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-1088621360504310432004-06-30T11:41:00.000-07:002004-06-30T11:49:20.503-07:00Having a hard time today... we moved my office, utterly dismantled it, and put half of it in this room which is soon to be a walk in closet... so....
Things are better then this morning - where I was shaking and stuttering. I was like that when E left, and he declared he was quitting his job - not that I think that would help things. (The mess here is one of the triggers that set me off today, shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-1083636673411699182004-05-03T19:09:00.000-07:002004-05-03T19:15:10.810-07:00Good article in the Times this week....
"An Answer, But Not a Cure, for a Social Disorder" ~ NY Times, Thursday April 29th, 2004 Front Pageshannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-1077128642795123942004-02-18T10:21:00.000-08:002004-02-18T10:26:39.450-08:00New doctor, new meds.... I like him, he knows more about AS and is very candid about my options, esp. regarding future pregnancy and all that. Off the Xanax - class D - who knew! and an increased dose of Lexapro.... We'll see how I feel in a month. He said the treatable symptoms fall into both sensory integration disorder and OCD - autism isn't technically treatable. He, again, suggested an shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-1074743165886207382004-01-21T19:30:00.000-08:002004-01-21T19:48:05.543-08:00First.....and now it's starting even earlier before a meltdown, I get shakey. So should I take medicine when this just starts...would that help? Would it stop the meltdown from happening? I don't know. My hands flap, even with my medication, my face and mouth twitch, I cathc myslef doing the mumbleing repeated conversations I've just had over and over and over thing. I jump at small movements; shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-1062349952326281292003-08-31T10:12:00.000-07:002003-08-31T10:12:32.333-07:00 EggsI can eat eggs now - lightly fried so there is no brown, and then I cut the white off, sandwich the white between buttered toast, and dip that in the runny yolk. I should try to eat poached eggs this way - healthier probably. shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-1061090648994553912003-08-16T20:24:00.000-07:002003-08-16T20:24:08.940-07:00Another freak out last night - E's friends acted like total jerks and he was so sad and I just couldn't deal with things getting any worse. Felt like screaming and breaking, throwing things. Got home and took two Xanax, sat in the glider, was ok after an hour or so. Today was better. shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-1060976543681958342003-08-15T12:42:00.000-07:002003-08-15T12:42:22.370-07:00 Meltdown
Meltdown - utter and complete - last night. I'm upset about food - bored and frustrated, horribly envious of everyone around me as they eat varied, interesting, and exciting meals: salad, pasta, salsa, veggies, all of that. E felt bad since he had been wondering out loud if he was doing the right things with his life and I did feel a little bit like he was dissing me as part of all shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-1057618379258764162003-07-07T15:52:00.000-07:002003-07-07T17:07:18.666-07:00 Why Don't I Present as a "typical"(=male) Aspie? The last doctor I saw refused to recognnize my overwhelming, persistent AS characteristics since, as he put it, "I can tell if a person (man) has AS from the minute I start talking to him" and "You're married - that would be very unusual if you had AS" Here's some insight from Jerry Newport @ ASC-US: "the bottom line is that good or bad, shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-1057615353326755082003-07-07T15:02:00.000-07:002003-07-07T15:02:33.226-07:00 It's Been A While I don't blog here often - not sure why. When I have a bad AS day, I tend not to be able to focus on anything, much less get on here to discuss why I am feeling how I am, or what I'm doing about it. Today was one of those days, but I made a list of "Accomplishments" and kept adding to it from my "To-Do" list- that helped me get started on several projects I needed to get doneshannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-959966462003-06-24T16:13:00.000-07:002003-06-24T16:13:24.746-07:00 Referral in Hand Although I haven't been doing too well sans schedule now that work is over, especially with eating during the day (or rather, remembering or getting myself to eat during the day) I did get many, many things done today before retreating to bed. One of those things was 1. finding the doctor's office 2. asking for my neurologist referral and 3. getting it. It's now occupying a shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-957019922003-06-15T20:06:00.000-07:002003-06-15T20:07:04.000-07:00 Dinner at the Folks, on Xanax Only .25 mg, though, so I was with it. Reason for the meds in the first place was an oh so lovely freak out this afternoon. Why? Couldn't find any job listings in the paper Anxious about that and ensuing financial ruin. E was spinning, grating on those lovely oh so sensitive neurons of mine. All of a sudden our plans changed - we were now going over E's dads shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-955959212003-06-12T09:51:00.000-07:002003-06-12T10:43:49.000-07:00 The Dreaded Phone So here I am, with the day off, with "big" plans to get a referral for the neorology appt. I made. And, as I sit here, convincing myself that it would be easier to just pay for the whole thing then call my gp and get a referral. Grrr. Why can't I be braver about the phone/conversation/confrontation/human beings in general???? OK I am going to do this. Over and out. OK, so I shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-954858832003-06-09T16:59:00.000-07:002003-06-09T16:59:23.160-07:00 New Foods/Stretches... a running list
Whole Wheat French Toast
Pumpkin Spice Cake
5 carrots
banana
2 grapes
3 carrots
Clementine
Tried spice cake again
Little bit of canned cranberry sauce
Drank orangina and 100% soymilk today - only had milk with one meal.
banano
peanuts before dinner
water at gym
buttermilk biscuits
water at gym (again!)
four carrots
smaaaallll bite of pear
mixed mac n shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-954857472003-06-09T16:55:00.000-07:002003-06-09T16:55:03.556-07:00 Made the Appointment Well, I finally made an appointment to see a neurologist who apparently specializes, or at least diagnoses Asperger's in adults. It's at the end of the month. The woman who makes appointments asked why I think I have it (of course, after she asked if the appointment was for my son or daughter. sigh.) Where do I start. Well, doctor.... I have extreme sensitivites. To whatshannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-946613002003-05-20T18:23:00.000-07:002003-05-20T18:23:46.150-07:00My mother found a doctor who may give adults' diagnosis of Asperger...we'll see. I have a four month wait for an annual ob-gyn appt... I can't imagine how long the wait for a neurologist is. Resolution: I'll call this week. shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-937782902003-05-04T20:19:00.000-07:002003-05-04T20:19:41.566-07:00 Self-Storytelling
I started reading "Emergence: Labeled Autistic" (Temple Grandin's first book) and while its 1980's often a**-backwards thinking drives me crazy, it's certainly interesting. I was struck today by a passage where she talks about how she would make up elaborate stories and tell them to herself out loud at night - chaining the day's events togehter in a logical way that made senseshannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-934284772003-04-28T16:14:00.000-07:002003-04-28T16:16:07.000-07:00"Sweet Invisible Body" ~ Lisa Roney Why did this book get to me so? It is an autobiography of living with Type 1 Diabetes, but Roney's conflicts with her flawed body - and even her reactions to it - mirror my own. Here are the passages I have been hoarding to blog here... "...the inevitible quandry of the handicapped in the mobile world, the blind in the seeing world, the deaf in the hearing shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-933190812003-04-26T17:45:00.000-07:002003-04-26T17:46:23.000-07:00I finished reading "Asperger Syndrome and Your Child" by Michael Powers and Janet Poland. It dealt mainly with children's Asperger from a parent's perspective - predominent in the literature about this disease, but frustrating to an adult trying to figure herself out.
It did ring true in every symptom - even things I hadn't previously thought about. Apserger often exhibits itself in problems in shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-930764842003-04-22T16:27:00.000-07:002003-04-22T16:27:45.756-07:00I ate an apple...la la la. I ate an apple. la la la. The more I read, the more I am settling into the idea/realization that maybe my highway driving phobia ISN'T a "phobia" to be gotten over with meds and therapy - it's a reaction to the onslaught of lights, sound, and sudden changes that is normal for me because of my disability. I drive well around town, and maybe that's something I should be shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5298082.post-928776782003-04-18T23:43:00.000-07:002003-04-18T23:48:34.000-07:00 Me and Hans. Hans Asperger published a paper detailing the case studies of a bunch of boys who were both brilliant but eccentric - socially awkward, fixated on certain topics, had heightened sensitivities... That's me. Time was, docotrs/therapists heaped labels on me like it was going out of style. I first went into the whole world of therapy to get over my driving phobia. Answer: Anxiety shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16717500262633349951noreply@blogger.com